Everyone Wants Something From a Relationship
This article appeared
an issue of
iAm Magazine.
In the break up of a relationship someone always gets hurt. Why does
the girl (generally) hurt more than the guy? Here's a theory: Both
people want something from the relationship. Females are looking for
love; males are looking for sex.
The males "play" at love to get sex. They sweet-talk,
saying all the right things. They play at being gentlemen with smooth
moves. All with one goal in mind — sex. Females, on the other hand,
"play" at sex to get love. They are falling for the sweet talk
and the smooth moves. Girls start feeling as if they have to give of
themselves physically in an attempt to get what they really want —
love.
When this type of behavior occurs, females tend to ignore any type of
red flag. When something doesn't go right in the relationship, she will
start thinking: "He said he was sorry…won't do it again…"
So she gives herself physically (sexually) to the guy thinking this is
what will keep him around. "He'll love me then… be committed to
me then.…" The presumption is made that if they give all of
themselves physically it will mean that the guy will love them and won't
leave them.
This is precisely why one person gets hurt. The guy gets what he was
after — sex. The girl gave up way too much of herself, and never got
what she was after — love. One person gets what they want - the other
person gets used and hurt.*
*Not to say this only goes one way — there are girls
who use guys for sex as well.
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Saga Stevin is a
Motivational Speaker, and Professional Personal Coach, a lay minister, as well as an inspirational writer.
She is the author of “The Golden Triangle: a simple philosophy
on dating & relationships,” “Be Nice! Discovering the pearls in
life’s little lessons,” and the soon to be released “Power Walk:
finding supernatural power in everyday life.”
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